i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
