Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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