I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am spending my child support on dildos
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it was like eating out sand paper
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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