saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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