My friends, they love my intelligence
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
