you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
