Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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