Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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