hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just want nice things and good sex
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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