i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
