Joe is yelling at the trees again.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I party with great urgency now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
