My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Randomize