Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
