his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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