you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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