I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
