How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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