...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
