He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
