I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
