I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
