Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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