i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
