Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
pop tarts are not kleenex
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
