The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
