Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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