I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
