he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
