I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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