I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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