I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
