even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There r osticjed everywhere
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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