well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
