Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you win again, gameday.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just invented taco cereal.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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