We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
