We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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