8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
