Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
