I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
