this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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