U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
