I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
