omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
