You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
