he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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