i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
