i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
