Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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