do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
