I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
