the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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