I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
