I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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